{Heart Attack}

Did I give you a heart attack? I'm actually going to update my blog!

This Valentine's was grandma's first without grandpa. We thought it would be fun to show her the love.
When she was at her neighbor's, we all snuck into her yard and heart attacked her.

When she came back, she was so happy she cried & hugged all her valentines.

The rest of Valentine's Day was kind of crazy for us. After talking about our business in Parker over dinner, (I know, not the most romantic conversation, but hey it's a write off) Dustin nervously asked me how I would feel about moving back. I burst into tears. Not so much because I didn't want to (although I didn't) but because I had been having random thoughts about it for the two weeks prior--which were quickly pushed aside as soon as they came. I really think Heavenly Father had to soften me up some in order to get me to say I would be willing to move back if we needed to.

The next day we had Stake Conference. Our Bishop talked about how when we receive revelation, which we felt we had, each on our own, we have to respond by obeying in order for it to keep coming. And then the clincher-the hymn was "I'll Go Where You Want Me to Go, Dear Lord." The choir sang "Be Still, My Soul", which I really needed to have happen. I cried through every talk, and the Stake President came in and taught Young Women's, and of course everything he said I could relate directly to our situation even though it was meant in a different way for the girls. I was sold. We knew we needed to go. Not what we had planned! Yet in every situation where we obey the Lord, we have been blessed in ways we can't imagine. Is it selfish to be hoping for the blessings this will bring?

Yeah, I thought so.

It helps me understand my 11-yr old son better and how he will only do his chores when there's a prize at the end (Wii, friends, etc). I'm just in it for the immediate gratification. Hopefully soon I will do it because I want to. Every day I get a little more excited for our new adventure.

Life Lessons

This has been a week of learning...

things I will never forget!

I was released from the Primary Presidency and called to be the Assistant Beehive Advisor a couple weeks ago. This is my first time with a calling in Young Women's, I was the Sunbeam teacher for a year, have been in a Primary Presidency for 8-1/2 years and a year as Relief Society President before moving back to Mesa. I only mention my previous callings because none has been as intense as this is appearing to become.

Yes, RS President was incredibly challenging & I received so much help there & was blessed with capacity beyond my own to serve there, but after this week, if I didn't know it before, I know it now...

The war between good & evil

is concentrated on and being fought by the youth!

The youth are incredibly loved by our Heavenly Father. He is focusing most of his efforts on them. I have felt a small part of what they go through daily in this past week. I am being pulled in opposite directions as Heavenly Father is giving me a crash course in what I need to become & do better at in order to be worthy to serve these 12 & 13 year old girls (and preparing me for my own teenagers in coming years). Satan is on the other end, and knows that if he can get me to yell at my kids (which is a huge weakness) and tear my family down by doing so, that the girls will see me as a hypocrite & everything I teach them about the gospel will eventually work in his favor.

It has probably been since I was a youth myself that I have physically, emotionally & mentally felt the powers for good & evil in such a battle in my life. This week has made me a stronger person & made me realize that I have to choose. I cannot keep my "favorite" sin of yelling at my kids & still be able to influence these girls to be righteous women.

I have also come to know this week (even though I really should have figured it out 11-1/2 years ago when I was married) that my home literally is a temple. I walk on holy ground each time I enter it. I receive more revelations in my home than at the temple (I am here more & need daily help). My children are too young to enter the temple, but Heavenly Father should be able to visit them anytime. It is my responsibility to keep the Spirit here always, so the option for Him to visit any time he chooses is there. (I will be thinking more this week of the many other parallels between temple & home, any thoughts?)

 I know how much I love my children & can't put into words the love Heavenly Father has shown me, much less my children & these girls I have the opportunity to teach. I was nervous leaving Primary, I was comfortable there & in a routine. I wasn't sure where our kids would go between the time I go to Mutual & my husband gets home from leading the 11-yr old Scouts. I was ready to say I had made a mistake & couldn't serve in Young Women's now as my children need me home. I couldn't have been more wrong. I am learning more about being a better mother & wife than I have in a long time. My comfort zone may be gone, but I need to learn more about myself & my children before they hit the teenage years, or they won't be ready to fight this battle.

At the combined lesson in Young Women's, the teacher asked us to look around at the girls & try to see them as Heavenly Father & our Savior see them & to try & feel how much they loved them. I felt a little bit, but don't really know most of the girls there. After some sacred experiences this week, I could look at any of them & my entire heart would overflow with love if I was asked that same question. He loves them more than I can imagine. It is real. It is powerful. They are His children & he has a great work for them to do. I hope I can help them find & know that for themselves.

I will be learning a lot in Young Women's, just as I did the first time around, this time as the leader & as a physical representative of the Savior, Jesus Christ. I am a missionary for these girls who may not have a testimony yet. My Young Women leaders, along with good friends (you know who you are & I am forever grateful for your influence) are the reason I am where I am today as I did not grow up in a home where the gospel was taught or lived consistently.

I want to thank Kaighty for sharing her testimony on her blog & inspiring me to share my feelings as well. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.. Alma 37:6